Things I thought about while watching the John Saxon-narrated kung-fu clip show, The Deadliest Art: The Best of the Martial Arts Films:
• Holy crap, did I really just see Sammo Hung punch a woman square in the vagina?
• Regardless, Sammo’s suspenders crack me up.
• Dude, that chick just plunged a knife right in that guy’s taint!
• Benny “The Jet” Urquidez has the freaky eyes of a coked-up carny.
• Seriously, did I really just see Sammo Hung punch a woman square in the vagina again?
• Cynthia Rothrock may kick ass, but she looks like the cashier at an Interstate 35 truck stop.
• In general, American kung-fu films suck.
• When you show scenes from NBC’s short-lived ninja TV series The Master (aka Master Ninja I and Master Ninja II), starring Lee Van Cleef, you’ve officially scraped the proverbial bottom of the barrel.
• And while even martial-arts virgins may learn little from it, The Deadliest Art — assembled by Sandra Weintraub, producer of Rothrock’s China O’Brien movies and daughter of the producer of the legendary Enter the Dragon — is a lot of fun to watch. —Rod Lott