Part of the Creature Features pentalogy of in-name-only remakes of AIP classics — in this case, Bert I. Gordon’s 1958 tarantula-on-the-loose tale — Earth vs. the Spider stars the bland Devon Gummersall (Independence Day) as comic-obsessed geek Quentin Kemmer, a security guard at a genetics lab wherein experiments are conducted on arachnids.
In broad daylight, the place is robbed and his partner is killed. Somehow, this double tragedy makes Quentin want to inject himself with spider serum, in the off chance that he might become a superhero — a spider-man, if you will. He does gain considerable strength and soon can shoot webs from a hole in his chest, but with his powers comes great madness and eventually, four more limbs, additional eyes and one nasty set of fangs.
Two-time Ghostbuster Dan Aykroyd is the doughy detective on the case as Quentin’s mutated self starts leaving a trail of bodies. So technically, the made-for-Cinemax movie should be called Dan Aykroyd vs. the Spider, but that sounds far less thrilling, doesn’t it?
The film by Scott Ziehl (Road House 2) could be viewed as the dark cousin (twice removed) of Sam Raimi’s Spider-Man, but it plays more like another sequel to David Cronenberg’s The Fly, yet with about half the imagination of The Fly II. The premise is a good one, never brought to fruition, leaving this Spider to spin its wheels as it spins its webs. —Rod Lott