Like a girl playing dress-up, ’50s teen idol Connie Stevens, Grease 2) makes for one unconvincing undercover cop in the less-than-scorching Scorchy. The film also is known as Race with Death, a generic title that’s actually more appropriate, since there is racing and death, yet no one by the name of Scorchy.
Instead, Stevens plays Sgt. Jackie Parker, a federal agent who’s been working for years under the credible guise of a freelance airplane pilot to squash the drug-smuggling ring run by Philip Bianco (Cesare Danova, National Lampoon’s Animal House). Bianco imports antiques stuffed with heroin, and from Rome to Seattle, Jackie’s being tracking a butt-ugly dog statue containing 10 kilos. Her boss gives her one week to make the necessary arrests.
From Mortuary writer/director Howard Avedis, the movie errs from the start simply by asking Stevens to carry a feature, especially one that’s not a bubbly comedy. Although sexy, she is hampered by a helium voice and squeals of delight that make it impossible to take her seriously. She’s a human squeak toy.
While the poster suggests bedroom antics, Scorchy‘s action largely takes place on the Emerald City streets. One chase scene is so long that it veers from ripping off The French Connection to ripping off Bullitt, with Jackie in pursuit after commandeering a one-man buggy conveniently for sale on a sidewalk. The climax puts her at the controls of a helicopter, but the highlight is when she gets horizontal — not because of any nudity on Stevens’ part, but because her one-night stand pays for his orgasm by getting harpooned in the back!
Throughout, the music sounds suspiciously close to Lalo Schifrin’s iconic Mission: Impossible theme, but Scorchy must be an original in one department: having its leading lady costumed by Pleasure Dome Boutique of Hollywood. Sounds rather space-hookery, no? —Rod Lott