Twelve True Facts about Invasion U.S.A.:
1. Inside Chuck Norris’ beard is another fist. This fist wrote the script for Invasion U.S.A.
2. In Invasion U.S.A., the USA is four square blocks of Miami.
3. Gristle Hardpecs plays a government-endorsed mercenary who collects information on his prey by driving around at night until he sees something.
4. Rostov, the lead bad guy played by professional heavy Richard Lynch (The Sword and the Sorcerer), is so terrified of Snap Kick-stache that he wakes up screaming. Lynch found motivation for his screams by remembering that he was filming Invasion U.S.A..
5. Groin Hardpull was in great physical pain during filming and had to wear a back brace, severely limiting his mobility. This is the only explanation for the movie’s marked lack of kicks and punches, instead relying solely on Groin’s charm and ability to hold a gun and point it at things.
6. The first time we see Mullet O’Smackdown, he’s bare-handedly wrangling an alligator. This is because great white sharks were out of season at the time.
7. Many film directors pay homage to other directors in their films. When he started work on Invasion U.S.A., Joseph Zito (Red Scorpion) chose to pay homage to Albert Pyun.
8. Whiskers O’Houlihan’s mullet is of such rare quality, it originally was given top billing. Only union rules prevented this from happening.
9. There is a woman in Invasion U.S.A.. She serves no purpose.
10. Grimace Scabknuckle constantly walks around with his shirt unbuttoned and torso on display. This is a completely hetero thing to do.
11. Punch Facebeard’s plan to lure Lynch into the open results in many innocent people being killed. This is never remarked upon, because Facebeard is a hero.
12. Right now, somewhere in America, there is an NRA meeting showing Invasion U.S.A. as a documentary. —Corey Redekop
I always thought Gristle Hardpecs was an underrated actor.
I agree; he used to be quite good at holding back his seething hatred for minorities and any non-Christian honkies.
“It’s time to die.”
Mock the Chuckster all you want, but must you drag Reb Brown into the fray? What has Slabmeat McKncucklecheese done to earn this shame? (Other than ROBOWAR, I mean.)