The story behind Miami Connection would be more compelling than the story of Miami Connection, if the movie had one. As is, characters aren’t introduced so much as they just show up, and plot elements are established, only to be abandoned immediately. This, of course, is why you should watch it. Thanks to someone at Austin, Texas’ legendary Alamo Drafthouse buying a 35-mm print off eBay on a whim, the world can.
An independently funded blend of martial arts and crime, it concerns a band of five metaphorical brothers who attend college by day, rock nightclubs as Dragon Sound by night, and practice tae kwon do in between, sometimes onstage during their performances. Dragon Sound’s synth-laden numbers have the appearance of being for adults, even if their lyrics read like Zig Ziglar and Dale Carnegie cut a record: “Friends through eternity, loyalty, honesty / We’ll stay together through thick or thin / Friends forever, we’ll be together / We’re on top because we play to win.”
The rock group booted from the club in favor of Dragon Sound doesn’t take the diss lightly, so its members order the peaceful quintet of black belts to be killed. Somehow, this comes to involve a clan of black-robed ninjas brandishing very sharp swords, a cocaine ring, a guy with a beard that appears to have been swiped from a G.I. Joe doll, a motorcycle gang, various gym rats with beer bellies and, perhaps most notably, a missing father. Don’t miss the dramatic mail-opening scene!
Leading the guys of Dragon Sound — all of whom live together — is Mark, played by producer Y.K. Kim, a real-life inspirational speaker who barely speaks English, yet nabbed the starring role and co-wrote. As with everyone else in the picture, he cannot act, but his sincerity shows through to a point of infection. Whereas some might find his unconvincing fake-the-guitar skills as horrific, I found them charming. It’s about the only Connection that Miami manages to make.
After a violent and bloody 80 minutes, the movie ends with the sobering title card, “ONLY THROUGH THE ELIMINATION OF VIOLENCE CAN WE ACHIEVE WORLD PEACE,” so there. —Rod Lott
This was probably my favourite theatrical viewing experience of 2012.
I wish I had the chance! Instead, it was Blu-ray for me with a good friend and cheap pizza, and a viewing of the SOV Sledgehammer afterward, not that there’s anything wrong with that.