Hard Hunted — emphasis on the Hard — never strays from writer/director Andy Sidaris’ formula that made all his previous entries so successful. After all, had Sidaris done otherwise, the series never would have made it past No. 2. This would have dealt a blow to mankind.
A slimy, foreign rich guy who lives on a boat is trying to get back this glowing green paperweight-type thing that was stolen from him. Trying to stop him are spies played by former Playboy centerfolds Dona Spier, Roberta Vasquez and Cynthia Brimhall, and for some dumb reason, a couple of guys, too.
They communicate with one another via not-so-thinly-veiled messages on the local radio station, Hawaii’s KSXY, manned by a melon-heavy DJ (Ava Cadell) who likes to do her show from the comfortable confines of the hot tub. We wholeheartedly support this decision.
The gals are pursued by a Japanese guy in a stealth helicopter, Dona falls from a chopper and gets amnesia (in a subplot that brilliantly predates Christopher Nolan’s Memento — nah, just kidding), Brimhall sings three whole terrible songs, comic relief is supplied by two guys named “Wiley” and “Coyote,” and Tony Peck (son of Gregory) gets laid. As with the entire Sidaris oeuvre, Hard Hunted comes highly recommended to heterosexual males who subscribe to the theory of “the bigger, the better.” —Rod Lott