This poorly dubbed (and, therefore, highly entertaining) slice of Bruceploitation tells the true story of Bruce Lee straight up, with no BS — except that the character is never called Bruce, he looks like nothing like Bruce (who didn’t wear a beard) and skirts all the details. In true Hong Kong fashion, the film remains reverent to the legend via distorted facts and wacky-ass sound effects!
As soon as the “biopic” begins, meager paperboy Bruce Lee But Not Bruce Lee (played by Bruce Li) is persuaded by pals to enter a karate tournament. He does, wins and is immediately approached by some American schmoe who simply says, “Hello. I am producing The Green Hornet program this fall on NBC and I’d like you to have a part. Are you interested?” and then walks out. And that, ladies and gentlemen, is storytelling.
A Dragon Story then chronicles Bruce’s quick rise to fame as the star of Fists of Fury and The Chinese Connection, although both go unnamed. He also forgets about his wife and kids back in the States in favor of a boozy, slutty actress named Betty Ting Pei, with whom he shares a tender coitus scene to the tune of a disco-funk instrumental of “I Heard It Through the Grapevine.”
The whole thing is just an excuse to get to some kicking, and what little martial arts they show is pretty unspectacular. But at least one fight scene is set by a swimming pool so all four of Bruce’s enemies can conveniently fall in! Dat shit funny! During another fight scene, a bug slowly moves across the lens.
Before he dies in Betty’s home from a bangeroo headache, we are treated to the film’s defining moment: a syrupy, Cantopop love ballad with the lyrics, “I trimmed my long hair for you / And I keep them short also for you / The style never change / Be ever faithful, my darling / To our love they tangled together / Leaving scents on the pillow / My heart now belongs to you / Never let me despaired.” For this alone, A Dragon Story kicks the crap out of Hollywood’s big-budget Dragon: The Bruce Lee Story. —Rod Lott