As the opening credits immediately inform you, this Italian crime film stars Lee Van Cleef. Midway through these credits, it informs you again, flashing “STARRING LEE VAN CLEEF” on the screen several times in rapid succession, as if to say, “Can you believe it? How lucky are we? I mean, c’mon! Lee Van friggin’ Cleef!”
Van Cleef plays a gangland boss who gets himself thrown in prison for some reason (perhaps the car bomb rigged to detonate with the insertion of an 8-track tape?), then he wants out, but is sent to death row, so he has to break out to get revenge on the goombahs who killed his brother.
He does all of this with the help of an easygoing criminal fella who wears a wide array of gawdy suspenders, has a girlfriend with large Italian breasts and positively has a nonsexual crush on Van Cleef. The guy is played by The French Connection‘s Tony Lo Bianco, but he acts like Tony Danza. Hell, he should be Tony Danza, playing Tony Danza. His character, in time-honored Tony Danza fashion, is even named Tony! Tony Danza and Lee Van Cleef — oh, Lord, what we shall never have …
I can’t say I understood all of Escape from Death Row (HOLY SHIT! STARRING LEE VAN CLEEF!) but for its sheer, goofy Italianness — and its inclination to reprise its haunting horn-and-piano theme every two minutes — I sure enjoyed it. One minute, Lee is tossing a live hair dryer into an enemy’s bathwater; the next minute, they’re being chased by the police in a pursuit so wacky and pratfall-laden, the only thing it lacks is Jerry Reed and a CB. —Rod Lott
It is impossible not to have a nonsexual crush on Lee Van Cleef. The man was pure ass kicking awesome.
I saw this as MEAN FRANK & CRAZY TONY. I always thought Lo Bianco’s role was written for someone who was either much younger or profoundly retarded.