Disorganized Crime isn’t particularly well-written or well-acted. It’s definitely not well-directed. And yet, ever since I caught the crime caper on its opening night, I’ve held a mild affection for it. Hell, it’s not even all that funny, but fits the bill for an entertaining and harmless disposable comedy — something of a then-specialty for Touchstone Pictures.
Frank Salazar (L.A. Lawyer Corbin Bernsen) stakes out a small-town Montana bank as a potential big score, and invites four of his criminal buddies to help with the heist. Trouble is, no sooner has he mailed them letters — the Evite was roughly a decade away — that he’s arrested by two doofus cops (Ed O’Neill, then on Married … with Children, and River’s Edge punk Daniel Roebuck) who wish to escort him back to New Jersey.
Meanwhile, arriving in the sleepy town by Amtrak are Salazar’s invited tech whizzes, safecrackers and general ne’er-do-wells, played by Fred Gwynne (Pet Sematary), Rubén Blades (Predator 2), Lou Diamond Phillips (La Bamba) and William Russ (Death Bed: The Bed That Eats). Get this: They can’t find Salazar! Yuk-yuk! After a lot of bickering and double-crossing, the guys plot the break-in anyway without him.
Writer/director Jim Kouf (scribe of Stakeout, Rush Hour and National Treasure) bounces between the two slapsticky storylines as if they’re the most riotous things ever. It’s not, of course, but bears a fair share of bright bits, most of them provided by, ironically enough, the least famous: Russ. Maybe I just like the way he says, “Yes, I have some fucking toothpaste!” Those who prefer their laughs to be less verbal may be inclined to prefer O’Neill in his underwear, or most of the felons stepping into cow poop. I don’t know of anyone, however, who’ll like the grating harmonica soundtrack. —Rod Lott