I think we can all agree that what kept those ’70s Kurt Russell Walt Disney films from reaching states of true transcendence was their unwillingness to explore what an average teenage boy would really do if he became freakishly strong (The Strongest Man in the World), invisible (Now You See Him, Now You Don’t) or intelligent (The Computer Wore Tennis Shoes) — namely, use his newfound powers to see boobs and get laid. Zapped! served as an early ’80s attempt to both correct this error and launch the cinematic careers of future Charles in Charge co-stars Scott Baio and Willie Aames.

History has proven this was ill-advised.

Baio plays Barney, a teenage genius who inadvertently gains telekinetic powers when his experiments go awry. A better film might have used his odd situation to develop an actual plot, but the filmmakers behind Zapped! decided instead to just use it as an excuse to tell a series of increasingly unfunny sex, drug and bodily function jokes, causing much more sadness than laughter. It doesn’t help that the two stars have all of the charisma you’d expect from two future reality show has-beens.

Even worse is the film’s reluctance to embrace its own depravity. For a teen sex comedy, Zapped! is woefully short on sex and surprisingly light on gratuitous nudity. One only has to look at the end credits and read “A double was used for Miss [Heather] Thomas in her nude scene and in the photograph” to appreciate the depths of the project’s failure. —Allan Mott

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