In this Western-themed anthology (not to be confused with the AMC martial-arts series of the same name) of three tumbleweed-laden tales, The Hateful Eight’s Bruce Dern and his teeth star as morally corrupt bounty hunter T.L. Barston, roaming the prairie in search of his next $50 kill. For everyone he runs across, we see bad things start to happen to them.
Take wanted outlaw McComas (Dylan McDermott, Olympus Has Fallen): No sooner has he crossed paths with Barston than he’s being hit on by a saloon whore played by Twister’s Helen Hunt! Oh, the humanity! They have sex. Not as cruel, he then gets shot by the town sheriff (Andrew Robinson, Hellraiser).
Into the Badlands’ next pointless yarn: Homely Alma Heusser (Mariel Hemingway, Bad Moon) is attacked by wolves. Finally, that sonofabitch Barston gets a taste of his own medicine, courtesy of some ghostly bandits.
From Zandalee director Sam Pillsbury, this made-for-cable flick is dull and boring, in that made-for-cable sorta way, despite a cowpie-sized dollop of horror elements. —Rod Lott